Boy, do I have some Tales to Tell...
Recent conversation between Kevin and Tim:Kevin:
Hey, remember my lesbian friends, A. and T.?Tim:
One of them directed the movie .
Tim: I saw that movie.
Kevin: K. was in that movie.
Tim: K. who?
Kevin: You know big pierced cock K., The one you slept with.
Tim: Uhhhh... sleep had nothing to do with what we did.
Last Saturday at the gym, while getting dressed after my shower, two members of the housekeeping staff were each sitting on a bench... nay, lying on a bench while chatting, snickering, giggling, and, at the same time, texting messages. I sat on another bench as I put on my socks & shoes and began staring at them trying to give them the hint that they need to "not be doing what they are doing", which is essentially hanging out. Being the Customer Service Person that I am, I actually went to the front desk to complain about this. I told the receptionist that it was very inappropriate of them to be "hanging out" in the lockerroom. The response I got was, "But is the lockerroom clean?" I said, "Not really."
Does anyone else find this absolutely inappropriate? Or have I just become a Customer Service Nazi? Later.
Scene: Tim is at one end of the cereal aisle stocking cartons of rice milk. A customer comes around the corner with her husband. They are speaking French. Tim notices them and makes eye contact. The wife approaches him.Wife (in a heavy French accent):
Ah, excuse me. Do you know where the sugar is?Tim:
Sure. It's the next aisle over.Wife:
Thank you. And one more thing... uh, hmmm... how do you say... uhmmm?Tim:
Tell me in French.Wife (surprised):
Tu parles Francais?!?!Tim:
Uhhhh... Avez-vous puree de pomme de terre?Customer (from behind Tim in a very I-know-it-all tone):
She needs tomatoes.Tim (in a very you're-a-dumb-ass-bitch tone):
No. She needs mashed potatoes.End scene.Just a tip:
unless you really know what you are doing or what someone is saying, then don't interrupt a conversation. Thanks. Later.
Everyone probably has a friend (or two) who they feel needs to change something in their lives. More specifically, you probably feel that the friend needs to cut themselves loose from their current romantic involvement. My great friend, Christine, recently moved back to New York City. I love Christine for many reasons but one of the biggest ones is that she is more than willing to point out people's... well... issues.
Recently, Christine met up with me and my co-worker L., whom she has met, for a drink and a bite. After getting caught up on each other's goings-on, Christine asked L. how his relationship was going. L. began talking about how much he was in love with his girlfriend, how they were still enjoying each other's company, how her jealousy was kinda cute, how she was bitch, demanding, and mean, at times. The look on Christine's face was one of pure disturbance. The look on mine was yeah-business-as-usual. Not being able to contain herself, Christine asked L. if he thought the relationship was not good for him. After, some hemming and justifying on L.'s part, Christine said that she felt L.'s relationship was not healthy for him; especially considering that L. was about to embark on a big life change.
The next day, L. approached me at work and said "Christine thinks I am fucked up, right?" The wording made me think carefully about my answer which was "Christine just thinks that everyone deserves a healthy relationship and anything that involves some sort of negative behavior and doubt is not healthy." Later on, L. approached me again and told me about someone who had given him his number asking him out. L.'s response to this was interesting. He said that he had a girlfriend but didn't really rule out the possibility of a date.
(Okay, are you still with me? I know. It's confusing.)
So, L. asked me what I think. About the guy asking him out and about the girlfriend. I told him that he needed to make sure that he was surrounding himself with positive people who were going to be there for him because he was about to embark on a big life change. Unfortunately, I had to take care of some customer issue, so I was not able to go beyond that sentence.
Here's the thing: I think L. should break up with his girlfriend because it is not a healthy relationship. I also think the girlfriend may not be as faithful as she says. With the major life change L. has embarked on, I think he needs to be around people who are more loving and supportive. And I think L. may need to figure out what he wants. On his own. I wish he would stop justifying the girlfriend's unpleasantness. She happens to like me a lot but when it comes to others, she is not very nice. I believe L. had to give up a bunch of his friends to be with her.
I'm normally very forthcoming with my feelings but I feel I need to stay out of this relationship. I have skirted around the issue and I am really not interested in going beyond what I say but I know that Christine's words have planted a seed of doubt in L.'s head about his poor relationship. Hopefully, he'll be able to make the right decisions.
Is it me or does anyone else wonder why we bother? Why do we bother trying to make this world a better place for everyone to live in when our leaders are doing nothing but trying to bring it back to the dark ages?
Abortion illegal in South Dakota? What!!!! Gays not allowed to get married? What!!!! The debt limit being increased? Why!!!! Still sending troops to their death in Iraq? Really!!!! Legislation that allows churches to discrminate on any basis they see fit? Why not!!!
It makes you wonder where the logic is? Our government, led by Curious George, is so concerned with bleeding us to death economically, emotionally, and culturally, that you wonder if they see the real problems at all. They like to hide behind the "threat of terrorism" to avoid the threat of resource depletion, or the threat of segregation, or the threat of alienation.
Religious biggots, and they are that, are so concerned with gays adopting and fetuses being aborted that they cannot even see past their nose. Who do you think is going to adopt those abandoned newborns? Certainly not any of you pro-lifers. Don't let the trash into the mansion, please. Idiots.
And before I finish, the city folk are no better. They don't even know how to treat people with kindness anymore. It's all push push push your way around, me first, I don't care if I waste anything because it's all disposable to begin with.
Maybe I am not seeing it correctly: by having more unwanted kids born and abandoned, we are creating a better world because I am sure those kids will grow up to be productive human beings with proper direction and good values because the system will be able to raise them so well (as long as it is not by loving gays) that they will be better human beings with narrow-minded values. Hmmm. Later.
Let's say that you are able to loan someone a little money. Also, let's say that when you used to be a struggling New Yorker, you were lucky enough to have someone there to help you through those days when you needed just a little extra cash. And let's say that like that someone in your past, you don't ask for anything in return. Ever.
Is it bad that you cringe when you see them using the money you loaned them to buy "wants" not "needs"? For example, with the $30 I just leant you, shouldn't you be buying some bread, milk, tuna, or eggs instead of the six-pack of beer? Just wondering to myself. Later.
Chloe! Chloe! Chloe!
As much as I am in love with Daniel Vosovic, I am elated that Chloe Dao won this season's Project Runway. After a second viewing of all the collections, I am, again, blown away by the astounding fashion that both of them created. Certainly, Daniel's collection was enchanting but Chloe's was so beautiful and just skillfully made. Either one would have deserved to win. And Santino's collection... not very collective.
As I watched the second part of the finale, I found myself getting slightly down. I didn't want this season to end. I wanted to see more. I wanted to see more of the creativity that these designers had to offer. While the fashions were hitting the runway, I was becoming more and more wistful and melancholy. It can't end. Not yet. I just want... I don't know... two or three more shows? Please?!?! I need more Tim Gunn!
Then, they announced it. Congratulations Chloe. It was over. And I realized, I wasn't at all depressed. I was happy. Happy to see someone win something based on their talent and merit. Happy to see a fellow Asian win something. Happy to see a happy ending.
If you don't think that small victories by your fellow minorities matter, I'm here to tell you they do. Later.
And the award goes to....
won for Best Picture of the Year. This was one of the few years that I saw most of the Oscar-nominated films. And I have to tell you that as a film, Crash... well, not so much the best.
When the movie first got released, my partner went to see it. He came home saying that it was probably going to win many awards. He felt that it was quite a significant film in history.
Later that year, at Christmas dinner, the subject of the conversation turned to the movie Crash
. Everyone but me had seen the movie and could not say enough about the significance of this film: it was eye-opening, it was humbling, it was so poignant, all kids 7th grade and up should see it. So, after dinner, when all the guests had left, I popped in the DVD and watched Crash
And what did I think? Underwhelming. I felt it was Hollywood trying to bring to light something that already is being shined on brightly. I found it exceptionally affected: Oh oh, look at us! We made a film that says how awful people treat each other out there. How people assume that because you are dark-skinned, you must be in a gang. How people think that Asians are bad drivers who can't speak proper English. How the Keepers of the Peace are not that compassionate and are sometimes downright bigotted. Well, surprise, surprise. Welcome to the real world. Do I really need you to show me this onscreen? Crash may be significant for something. But ask all my non-Caucasian friends, they will tell you that it wasn't as significant as people want us to think it is.
As someone who faces racism & prejudice everyday, I find the film missed the point. So what does it feel like when someone asks you a question loudly, slowly, and over-enunciates their words because they think you can't speak English because of the shape of your eyes or the color of your skin? What does it feel like to be asked a question and then explained to in detail because they think that you would never know because people of your decent can't possibly have any experience in the subject? So, what does it feel like when someone tries to use foreign phrases that they think is your native tongue but isn't? And, what does it feel like to be overlooked because, to them, your sexuality dictates the opposite behavior?
What does it feel like? I know this much, don't watch the movie Crash because it won't give you a clue. Later.
I'm about to share something that I am not sure if I have ever shared on this blog. Some who read my blog have known me for a while, so they won't be surprised by this. There was a point in my life where I more than experimented with drugs. By drugs, I mean club drugs. Lots of Ecstasy, plenty of crystal meth, some cocaine, too much ketamine, and an occasional GHB. I had my fun. I would never ever say do it. I would never say don't. I would say, if you are, know what you are getting yourself into. Know what your resources are.
I was lucky enough to be able to take myself out of that system. And to take that system out of me. By the system, I mean the whole self-perceived world of glamour via chemical means. I don't judge the people who take drugs. I think that we all try to find ways of coping with things that happen in our lives. Unfortunately, some of us don't find a way out of the crazy maze. Unfortunately, some of us still think that these drugs bring us the validation we so crave. Maybe in our minds it does. But from the outside looking in, I don't believe it does.
With that being said, I want to ask anyone who reads this blog for a favor. A friend of mine, Michael Nina, is the Principal Investigator doing doctoral dissertation research in the Department of Applied Psychology for New York University. He is specifically doing research on club drug use in the gay male world. His goal is to find out about the many facets of the people who use club drugs. And ultimately, to find a way to help them out of the crazy maze. He too has seen our gay community ravaged by drug use. He hopes to use his findings to help train counselors to be more sensitive and to understand our community better when helping those addicted to club drugs. For as we all know, not all health officials are sensitive to the gay community.
If you know anyone who would be willing to contribute to his research AND lives in the New York City Area
, please pass on the information below
. We both would really appreciate it.
Ever use a CLUB DRUG
(crystal, ecstasy, GHB, cocaine, or K)
in the last 12 months?
AND are you a man (18+) who sex with men?
If so, we would like to hear from you for a one-time, brief (1 hour) research survey.
Receive $30 for your time!
Call Project Personality at (212) 206-7919, extension 302.
Thanks in advance for all your help. Michael's research will continue for a few months, so please pass on this information to anyone as often as possible. Later.