Boy, do I have some Tales to Tell...
Saturday, October 29, 2005
For the first time in a long time, I am going out of town... on business. I'll be sleeping in a hotel because the function lasts two days. The whole thing is happening in some really fancy hotel in Rhode Island. I can't remember when the last time I went out of town on business was. I really can't. I'm not even sure if I ever really have. I can remember going on vacation to places and then adding a business venture somewhere in there. But never solely for business mainly.

I'll be participating in discussing the future & direction of my company in terms of their employees. We attend interactive groups where we share how we feel about the current status of the company, where we want it to go, how we want it to improve, etc. I was invited to this function because I won the Best Merchandiser Award at my store. Pretty nifty for someone who basically is paid to be colorful. Wink, wink. My partner rolls his eyes when he hears of my company's effort to make working conditions for employees more comfortable. He thinks we're cultish. Maybe we are BUT I do get paid well, with full-benefits, and a 20% discount on groceries. Not sure if I ever mentioned the discount.

Should be exciting. I am concerned about one thing though. What am I going to wear? Later.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
After watching Madonna's new concert documentary, I realized that, although I enjoyed it a ton, I realized that my dislike for parts of it was stronger than my like for the whole thing in general. As Todd knows, I loves me some Maddy (I used to call her that when I was in college; were close that way). But for some reason, I am a bit tired of her cult-ballah blabber. Yeah, yeah, it's not a relgion. It's Jewish mysticism. Yeah, yeah, you think there is a god. Believe in the light. Just do it on your own. You're no better than a televangelist asking me to believe that God will heal me if I do as he says. It's still all preaching and worshipping. It's all still a constant search for an answer to your existence. Boy, it would really suck if there wasn't an answer and you spent your entire friggin' life trying to find one.

What I do believe is that you have the right to worship/believe/live by any standard you have as long as you understand that your actions take on a consequence to those immediately around you AND as long as you understand that you chose to have that belief AND as long as you understand that people have to make their own choices AND as long as you are not perpetuating any harm to anyone else.

Which leads me to the last sentence of my first paragraph: what if there are no answers to the questions you have? What if there is nothing to find in your search? What if the purpose of life is just to live as best as you can? And what if, just what if, all you have is all you will ever have?

If you ask me, that really isn't so bad. Later.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
I wonder if people realize that just showing up at your job location doesn't mean you are working. Also, just showing up and doing one sole thing only does not constitute working either. I am amazed about how the new kids (and yes, they are kids) who enter the job pool think that just because they showed up, they deserve to get paid. It's very fascinating to me. I wonder what the fuck their parents do. Because the truth is, as much as you want to deny it, you are a product of your parents upbringing. Later.
Monday, October 24, 2005
I get up this morning and, as usual, Mike has the TV on NBC. He likes to hear the "fluff" which they like to call the news. Anyway, there's Al Roker on the screen, holding on for dear life, while the hurricane winds are beating through Florida.

I grab the remote and promptly switch it to CNN. I like to think that they at least have some more news than most morning crap. Anway, there's Anderson Cooper on the screen holding on for dear life, while the hurricane winds are beating through Florida.

Does anyone really believe that because these fools are standing in 100-mph winds it gives their reporting more integrity? Am I the only one who thinks that it's stupid to try to report about heavy rain and strong winds while standing in it? Uh, yes, you jerk, we can see that. GET INSIDE, FOOL!

And what's worst, the fact that these two journalists stand out there to do their reporting OR that there is a part of our society that thinks this is a good thing? Later.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
While at work the other day, I ran into an old co-instructor friend of mine. She's this fabulously hot Japanese lady that definitely gets heads to turn. Of course, I see her, give her a big hug and kiss, and begin to converse. As we are talking, I notice something about 10 feet behind her. Two of my new co-workers are on their folding stools giving me a thumbs-up signal. Being the amazingly natural actor that I am, I continue my conversation without missing a beat and without my friend noticing any change in expression or tone. After she leaves, one of those new co-workers comes over to me and says, "Thumbs-up on her. Go for it."

Now, a while back, when my new Assistant Team Leader started, he noticed that I would roll my eyes when there were kids being loud in the store. The following conversation ensued:

ATL: I see that you don't like kids.

Tim: No, I just hate having them around.

ATL: Well, what if you have a kid someday?

Tim: Oh, trust me, that won't be happening?

ATL: Never say never.

Tim: Nope. I'm pretty sure that won't be an issue in my life.

ATL: Well, what if one weekend you get drunk?

Tim: What?

ATL: What if you get drunk one weekend and...

Tim: ...accidentaly sign adoption papers? Someone leaves a baby on my doorstep?

ATL: No, what if you get someone pregnant?

Tim: Are you serious?

Now, I'm not at all the butchest man you will ever meet. I am actually fine and comfortable with being barely butch. Actually, I wouldn't use that word to describe me at all. And to be honest, I am sure that people look at me and think "Yep, she's gay." So, it surprises me when people think otherwise. I know that you shouldn't assume that anyone is anything. But, as my friend Olivia said, "Don't they just assume that when you talk about your boyfriend?" One would think.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Since I started working for a Natural/Organic Grocery, my eating habits have changed. I should really say that my eating habits have remained the same BUT the food content has changed. Since I work for said grocery, I always shop there. Hey... 20% discount! I still shop at some other places but mostly only for certain vegetable items and household stuff. I definitely only buy meat and dairy at my place of work. And most of my grocery items come from our shelves. Because, HEY... 20% discount.

Because of having food, literally, at my fingertips, my ordering-in/eating-out has been massively curtailed. The boyfriend and I have come to a silent agreement that we will at least order out one night every two weeks or less. So, last Friday, I agreed to order a large pizza with sausage, mushrooms, and onions. I am always hesitant to order pizza because 1) there is no good pizza in the 90's on the Upper West Side and 2) I have not had any good experiences with the pizza in the 90's on the Upper West Side. As a matter of fact, the last two times we ordered pizza in, I got food poisoning. One instance was so bad that I actually had to skip work and lie in bed all day drinking fluids.

So, we order pizza from a new place and, well, you guessed it, I got food poisoning. Again. This morning is the first morning that I feel better. My stomach still feels dicey but I feel better. At least, good enough to go take a step class.

I've come to the conclusion that because I eat such "clean" food from work, my system reacts to "not so clean" food. I certainly eat mostly organic products because I tend to reach for those first. And if you shop at my place of work, you know that all of our products are natural and handled well to avoid any kind of contamination. My system has become so accustomed to clean eating that it reacts to a lot of the not-so-natural products that are out there.

I've had pizza from other places in the City that don't give me food poisoning. If I do eat out, my body doesn't always react negatively to the food. Maybe it's something about the pizza in the 90's on the Upper West Side. Or maybe, I am just allergic to the 90's on the Upper West Side.

Hmmmmm. Later.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Oh my god, Oh my god, Omigawd!!!! The radio alarm went on this morning at 6:30am. AND what song started playing?!?!?!??! HUNG UP, by Madonna. That bitch is crazy. Even the boyfriend didn't hit snooze. We were jamming to it. What a way to start the day. She is going to drive me mad waiting for that song on the radio. I may just have to go searching for the single today. Love it, love it, love it! Later.

UPDATE: Every little thing that you say or do, I'm hung up, I'm hung up on you. Waiting for your call every night and day, I'm fed up, I'm tired of waiting on you. Go to to check it out.
Saturday, October 15, 2005
A while back, I watched an Oprah show where she talked about how she disliked mis-matched towels. She said that getting matching bath sets was a sign of growing up. Then, I read somewhere that Martha Stewart had also said this. And to cap it all of, my best friend in the whole world has said that she thinks I am straight (and so is my partner) because I don't have matching towels.

I admit that I don't have matching towels. Mike and I have a boat-load of towels. When we moved in, we just mixed our towels together. They are all solids but are of various colors. Nothing matches. Well, some of the face cloths match the towels AND some of the hand towels match them too BUT, overall, they are just one big mish-mash of color.

While putting away laundry today, I took a look at our collection of towels and decided that I am quite proud of them. Okay, so they don't match. But, they are still fluffy and absorbent. So, they are not of the highest thread count, but we like them. Wait, is thread count just for bedsheets? Which, we do buy only 400 and above because it's the only thing that fits our extra thick mattress. But then, our sheets are a big jumble of colors to. Anyhoo, screw Oprah and Martha. I like my towels. I like that they don't match. I like that they symbolize Mike and I moving in together. I like that they symbolize our individuality and our togetherness.

So there. Later.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
So, there is this tiny rumor out that iPod has a special Madonna version coming out. I have been resisting buying an iPod. Not because I don't want one but mainly because I just feel that I have very little use for it. I mean, I like my walkman and it serves it's purpose. But now, I may just breakdown and get one. Assuming that the rumor is true.

I am not sure if I am showing my age by not having an iPod or by the fact that I am still a big Madonna fan. Or is it that I am just showing how gay I really am?

Yikes. Later.
Monday, October 10, 2005
One of the perks at the store I work for is the mega-discounted food we are offered at the end of the night. I mean, things like sandwiches and trays of sushi for 50 cents. Hot bar food for no more than $1. Baked goods and fresh loaves of bread for no more then 50 cents. That's everynight, IF you happen to work the closing shift. We also get specials where we are offered pies for $1.00, cheesecakes for $1.00, fresh juice for $1.oo or under, and so on and so forth.

I tend to close three to four times a week. Here is my question: are three trays of sushi just too much for dinner? And is it really dinner when I begin eating the three trays around 11:45pm (which is when I tend to arrive home)? And after the three trays of sushi, is a slice of cheesecake necessary? Even if it is sugarfree and sweetened with Maltitol?

Just wondering. Later.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
I don't know if I hate the fact that I rent some really bad films that are under the Gay & Lesbian category OR if I hate the fact that they make really, really bad films under the Gay & Lesbian category. I know that there are good films and bad films in all categories. But, when I rent a movie and it really, really, really sucks AND happens to come from the Gay & Lesbian category, I really feel robbed. Maybe deep down inside I feel that I am a lesser person because my bretheren released a film that is just awful. Maybe I feel diminished. Like I somehow have to defend being gay. I'm not sure.

I'm sure many of you have been through the same situation I have. You know, you start watching and realize that this is going to be bad. You keep watching with hopes that maybe the plot will improve (or at least get one). You've dedicated 40 minutes to it and you pray that the acting improves beyond that of what you see in porn (not that I see any porn, just that I heard). Then, you finally get to a point where you think to yourself, "Well, maybe I'll get to see some penis."

Is it just me who feels that way? God, I hope not. Later.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Things that I am over:

Double-wide strollers manned by mothers who think they always have the right of way.

Those yellow bracelets - and all other copycats.

Diets that eliminate or excessively restrict any types of food.

People who use "sorry" in place of "excuse me" or "pardon" - and not because you didn't hear them the first time.

My gay community's body dismorphia, obsessive worshipping of perfection, and youth-centered mindset.

The "I only eat salad" excuse.

People who show up for work but don't seem to realize that they did.

Supplements, vitamins, and food substitutes.

People who grow up without the ability to "sound out" words, read above a 6th grade education, or any kind of desire to learn.

Our dumb-ass President who sounds like a reject-pile robot... from the 1950's.

Anyone who supports the dumb-ass.

The idea that options don't exist - i.e. "How can you not believe in God. You have to believe in something!"

AAGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH... there, I feel better. Later.
Monday, October 03, 2005
This past Saturday, I went to an old friend's birthday dinner. During dinner, one of the guests mentioned that he had gone shopping at a store in the meat packing district that sold what apparently are supposedly the best jeans one can buy... for $500. No, not $5.00... Yes, five hundred dollars. Of course, I laughed at this and mentioned that I can't pay more than $22.00 for a pair of jeans that I will destroy within a year's worth of wearing. The entire dinner table looked at me like I had just kicked a puppy. Anyway, after further discussion, one of the other guests had made me promise to go to Barney's to consult their jeans specialist and even made me promise to invest in a good pair of jeans. She said that I could find a really good pair for under $200.

Tonight, I received a reply from my Financial Advisor. I had inquired about rolling over my old 401k into an IRA so that she could invest the money into more beneficial options. She discussed starting small on the contributions to the 401k at my new job. She asked me to send her my investment options so that she could make suggestions as to what are the better funds to put my money into. I emailed her back asking her what steps I had to take to roll over the amount of money I had amassed in my 401k at my last job. The whole process made me feel powerful because I was using my money wisely... taking my funds and using them to create a retirement fund. I felt older and wiser. Definitely more responsible.

I won't be keeping the promises I made on Saturday night. Later.
I'm just writing down some of the things that run through my head.

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Location: New York, New York, United States

Eating up the City before it eats me up. I'm a freelance cook who spends his free time working out, cooking for "my man", and wondering why the Right is so concerned about my bedroom.

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