I don't give myself enough credit for what I do. Actually, for what I am capable of. And for what I always do. It's frustrating to be one's biggest critic. You're always considered being "a show off" if you talk to anyone about it. But the truth is, you're not. You're not because nobody but you recognizes that you can actually out perform some of the folks that you work with who are given more credit than you.
I have a new work friend who I have lunch with a every week or so. He's a nice guy. Not as exposed as I thought he was. Actually a bit underexposed. Not sure if that's the correct word. Maybe a little less experimental. He definitely thinks that he's worth more than he is. Nice guy but not as good a cook. And certainly not as strong a cook as I am. His confidence is certainly his strength. Certainly more than me.
I also just worked with someone who has been in the industry longer than I have. She gets work as a lead for a big company. Are her skills better than mine? Not at all. She actually quite the mess. She's known to cry during events if things aren't going well. She's not a strong leader. But yet, it's her confidence that gets her jobs that I should be getting.
Then there's my colleague who is a sous chef for a major corporation. Very level headed. Great personality. Smart. Can cook. Can I do better on all levels? Yes. Has she accomplished more than I have? To some degree. So, why I'm I not where she is at least? Confidence.
Maybe I need to learn how to create more. Maybe I don't want to create more. Do I really want to go beyond what I am doing already? I am not sure. I'm still trying to figure it out. But it's hard because I am happy with what I am doing. I get paid decently and I have very few responsibilities. I see that I have opportunity but don't really strive harder to take advantage of it. It's confusing for me. I know I can. People know I can. But I just don't. Something to think about in the next year.
For now, I will build a stronger reputation during 2013. Maybe after, I'll feel that I deserve the credit. Later.
Labels: Cooking, Irritation, pride