Boy, do I have some Tales to Tell...
Today, a friend asked me to teach his morning classes at a gym in Chelsea. For those of you who do not know, Chelsea is THE gay neighborhood of New York City. The aerobics studio at this particular gym overlooks the weight floor AND let me tell you, I spend most of my time looking out the windows than I do teaching class.
I saw a couple of people I know and waved to them. I also saw a lot of cute boys and men lifting and preening and posing and acting disinterested in each other. For about 10 seconds, I missed being single. I missed having the option of flirting with the cute man next to me working on his triceps. I missed having the option being able to hang out and meet someone who may be Mr. Right or Mr. Right Now. I missed the feeling of flirting with someone and that someone flirting right back.
Then it hit me, I missed my partner of six years going on seven. I missed waking up next to him. He's been in London for eight days on business and I miss being able to hold him. I missed the fact that I would come home from work and there he is, or vice versa. I missed how he would come up behind me and hug me as I washed dishes. I missed that he would then tickle me even though he knows I hate it. I missed him beyond description.
At this point, I realized that I didn't miss being single. What I really missed was having options. I don't miss being ignored by some guy who thinks he is too cute for himself. I don't miss coming home to nobody special. I don't miss going out to nightspots, spending too much to get in, drinking more than I need to, and not meeting anyone interesting.
I do believe that most of us have to go through that so we know how special relationships really are. I do believe that pain only makes joy better. I do believe that no matter how green the grass is on the other side, it does not matter. I am not over there. I am here. And here is just fine. Later.
After surveying the gym floor the other day, I decided that if I ever become an escort, I believe I have found my target audience. I think I am the only Asian male who is hairy. Okay, if you are repulsed by the idea of me talking about my body hair, then get over yourself; it's my blog.
Anyway... I realized that if I ever enter the "paid companionship" business, I can advertise myself as a humpy, hairy Asian male. I chose "humpy" because, once, a member, who had been away for a couple of months, asked me how I was doing and what I was up to lately, "besides getting all humpy". I have never been described as humpy but, what the hell, maybe it will get me some clients for my "companionship" business. So, back to the hairy issue...
I must be the only Asian around with quite the large amount of body hair, at least for Asians. Come to think of it, even for some Caucasians but then again, they may shave. Most people I know are shocked when they see me wearing some deep V-neck shirt. It could me my bulging pectorals but I think it may have something to do with the hair sticking out of the V-neck. I also get questions as to why I have hair on my back and shoulders which in itself is a bit gross but quite surprising to a lot of people.
I even have hairy legs. Muscular and hairy. I don't really know any other Asians with hairy legs. I certainly did not inherit it from my father. Or my mother. The only part where I don't have hair on my legs are my calves because they are so thick, they rub up against my pant legs but that is another story for another day.
For an Asian man, I tend to shave quite often. If I shave in the morning, I get stubble by 6:00pm. The next day, I get very visible stubble. By the second day, I look scruffy enough to shave. What hair I do have on my head tends to need shaving by the middle of the second week.
I am not sure from whom I inherited the hair issue. None of my ancestors were hairy; I checked. My only explanation for it is that when I was two days old, I was diagnosed with jaundice. Back in those days, they gave newborns full blood transfusions. The blood that was donated for this procedure came from a German male. Never knew whom but I am willing to bet he was hairy. My mother likes to think that this is all a load a crap but I don't. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
Anyway, I like that I have found a new avenue of income if I ever needed one. I wonder if I will ever be considered scruffy? Can Asians be considered scruffy? Jimbo? Later.
This weekend was another indication of how old I am getting. On Friday night, I went out dancing to Opaline with my friend and fellow Step Aerobics instructor John. We had fun starting at dinner and all the way into dancing. The crowd at Opaline was quite young. At one point, John and I wondered out loud if some of them had even sprouted pubic hair; but I digress. There were really quite some cuties but to be honest, if I were single and looking to hook up, I would have to ask for two forms of ID before I did anything. That statuatory rape charge is a bitch to get rid of.
We did go home before 2:00am because both of us had to teach. I, of course, woke up by 7:00am even though I did not have to teach until 10:30am. I taught class until Noon and then headed for to work at the wine store until 9:30pm. At one point, I had intention of hanging out with my coworker Paul. His brother and his cute friends were in town and they were going out to watch the SU game at a local bar. For about 10 seconds I was convinced I was meeting them for the night to go hang all because of the cute 19 year old. Then, I thought carefully and decided that I would be better off going home and drinking the bottle of Rivendell Dry Riesling than going out to some bar with some underage cutie who has probably never hung out with a nasty queen like me.
When I got up Sunday morning, I had full intentions of going to go lift, back and biceps. I was so exhausted that I rolled over and went back to sleep. I woke up about two hours later with this slight body ache from being out all weekend. I got up, called a couple of friends, had brunch, shopped for new shoes, visited friends at a store, came home, and passed out on the couch for a couple of hours. I am so tired, I have started drinking wine so that I can sleep soundly. Okay, that is just an excuse to drink wine. God, I am old.
If you are wondering where my boyfriend is, he is in London for a week on business. I miss him so much, I have small crying spells. God, not only am I old, I am pathetic. Later.
How many times do I have to remind people of this fact:
White sneakers and black socks, big NO-NO!!!!
The only reason I am writing this post is because Ereka Vetrini from The Apprentice
on NBC is a regular in my step class. Here is a list of people who I think are SEXY
Anderson Cooper (CNN anchor)
Ereka Vetrini (The Apprentice
Robert Gant (Queer as Folk
Alyssa Milano (Charmed
Mariska Hargitay (Law & Order: SVU
Dean Cain (Lois & Clark
Angie Harmon (Law & Order
Jennifer Garner (Alias
Should I be concerned that 50% of the above list is female? Later.
Yesterday, while waiting for the yoga class to end, so that I could start my step class, I chatted with a couple of members waiting with me. We talked about various topics ranging from reality TV to strange behavior of other members to current pop stars. I had just gotten off an eight hour shift at the kitchen and was quite exhausted. But being me, I showed up to teach class.
One topic we discussed was how some other step instructors require that any person who takes class in the front row must be an experienced stepper. In some cases, instructors only want their regulars to be up front. In some more extreme cases, instructors will tell a person to move to the back of the room if they don't know them.
My first question is: why do members allow instructors to do this?
My second question is: aren't instructors supposed to teach these people what to do?
I have never ever asked a person to move from one part of the room to another. I just have never felt that I have the right to do that. Unless the participant is a hazard to others, I will never ask them to move from the spot they picked. Certainly, it is distracting when someone who has no clue about timing, rhythm, or step aerobics is in the front row BUT since I am a professional instructor, I get over that and continue to teach. It's what I was hired to do and it's what I know how to do.
My only advice to people who are new to a step class is to step up & down on the beat of the music, try a new step now & then but always go back to the basic. If they cannot listen to that advice, then I am no longer responsible.
More importantly, if you are a member who is trying to learn something and are putting forward a great effort to learn it, then you have the right to be anywhere in the classroom. Understand that if you are in the front row, you affect the rest of the class if you are "not getting it". If you are fine with that, then stay put. If not, then stay at the back of the class and observe, try, and learn. Eventually, you'll get it. It just takes patience and practice.
If an instructor tells you to move, you have the right to refuse. If they embarass you, let them; they are the ones who look like idiots. You also have the right to report their deplorable behavior to their superiors. Once again, unless you are a hazard to others, then you have the right to the spot you picked. As long as you are not going to hurt someone, stay. But be wary of your surroundings. You do affect them. Later.
One day, I got called at the last minute to teach a Body Sculpt class at a local gym. The permanent instructor, who has quite a following, was not feeling well. As I arrived, people were setting up for class. As I entered the room and headed to the stereo, I was greeted with looks of horror and doubt. Nothing new or unusual for me. To be honest, I could care less if people stay; I still get paid the same.
The class was populated by a bunch of older women and middle-aged gay men. Make your own joke here now. One of the older women decided to pipe in her two cents and said, "He really works us out gently." I responded, "If you wait for my instructions, you will see that you can tailor the class to your own needs." Need I add that I said this with a tone of venomous delight? Another of the older women said that it was her first time and that I should take it easy on her. I replied, "If you can listen, you will be fine."
After class, both women approached me to ask me where else I taught. I replied that I don't teach in the afternoons but I do have a couple of evening classes. The first-timer asked, "Is this not your full-time job?" I said, "No." With the most most irritated tone, she then asked, "Well, what do you do then?" For some reason, I replied, "I cook for a living."
With the most unbelievably ignorant tone, she said, "Ahhh, yes, Chinese food." For this, I continue to teach? Later.