Boy, do I have some Tales to Tell...
I was talking to my friend Erica and we got to thinking about something. Remember when being gay meant something very exciting? Don't get me wrong. Being gay still does mean something very exciting. Except, nowadays, it just seems that I run into more boring gays than I wish I did. I won't even talk about the gays who claim that they don't like to be labeled. Whatever bitch. You are gay. Get over it. You certainly don't pass as straight. Anyhoo...
I had breached the subject with Erica because we were bitching about a co-worker. She had said that even though he was in a supervisory role, having him around made it worse for his department rather than better. I commented that he was cute but was devoid of a personality. Which is when I suddenly came up with, "Remember when being gay meant something fun?"
In both Erica and my travels, we have run into many exceptionally boring homosexuals. Not all of them are boring but it seems like more and more, we run into un-opinionated, immature, devoid of personality gays. Erica says that even the lesbians have become ultra-boring. She should know since she is a lesbian.
Maybe it's because people are coming out at a younger age. It used to be that we homos would stay in the closet until the last minute. Of course, during all the closeted time, we would develop fantastic taste and personalities. So, when we finally came out, we would be just grandiose. But, if you come out between the ages of 16 & 21, what the fuck do you know? Nothing really. Shit, you haven't even really gotten so drunk that you fear alcohol poisoning.
What happened to the fabulous gays who could walk into a room and redecorate it in less than a minute while mixing a cocktail? What happened to the lesbians who could talk to you about basketball while rewiring your track lighting? What happened to all the catty talk about how so-five-minutes-ago that dress you are wearing is? And what happened to the fabulous queens who threw glorious brunches on a budget of $20.00?
Somebody? Anybody? If you have an answer, please tell me. So that Erica and I can go hang with them. Pretty please. Later.
Scene: A hallway at work, at the end of tim's work day.tim: Have a good night everyone.co-worker: Where are you off to?tim: I'm going for a power walk in the Park.co-worker: Really? Why don't you just run?tim: Honey, I don't even run when I'm chased.
While chatting with a friend of mine, we got to talking about some people in our lives. Specifically, females who are pining over someone who they are having an affair with. It's scary that we know females who are having affairs with married men. It's even scarier that these females believe it when the men say that they will leave their wives for them. And what is scarier still is that these females are depressed when it does not happen.
WTF? Why would you chase after something that is not available?
When I was single, I made it a point to not have sex with men who were closeted or men who had wives. I refused to justify their homophobia. I also felt that I would never be important to any one with a wife because they got exactly what they wanted: sex with a man and the appearance of what they considered normal. I believe I am worth more than that. Men who have affairs want the best of both worlds. They rarely leave their wives for the mistress. Why should they? They get the appearance of their fake normalcy with easy pussy on the side.
Which make me wonder why anyone would stay in an affair with a married man? I know that people don't feel worthwhile or worthy of better. I just don't understand why. Because if you are willing to give some sort of love, you are capable of accepting it. And somebody out there is willing to give it to you 100%. Not just for their pleasure but for yours as well. Later.
I had about a thousand things that I wanted to blog about but right now, I just feel sad because of the passing of Estelle Getty. She brought much joy and laughter to my life. Wherever you are, Ms. Getty, I just want to say thanks for the brightness you brought to many of us. Later.
I haven't looked forward to going away on vacation as much as I am looking forward to going away on Friday. I am going to be spending a week in lovely Michiana, Michigan. Our friend owns a cabin off the Lake. It's a great place to go and just decompress. I am going to try to work on my tan.
When we first started going to the cabin, it was different. I would never ever call it rustic but it didn't have a television. A few years later, cable was added. Back then, the backyard was basically a jungle of weeds. Apparently, they have added a meditation gazebo. I am looking forward to seeing that. They may even have a computer now. Not that I need one but if there is, I'll try blogging from there.
I do have to go to the husband's niece's wedding for the first two days of vacation but the promise of doing nothing for seven days after was too much to turn down. I really need this time away to clear up some cobwebs in my head. Nothing bad. I just need to figure out what I want to do in terms of a career. I need to create a plan. I am actually going to bring a zip drive with my resume on it. I need to work on it to make it more dynamic and modern. Hopefully, it will lead me to something more dynamic and modern. Later.
I think my life would be easier if I were just skinny. I don't mean just weigh less. I currently weigh 192.6 pounds. Which is actually two pounds less than the beginning of the summer. But, I think it would just be easier if I was back down to 160 pounds. So, my goal is to start doing Crystal Meth.
Actually, I used to do a myriad of circuit party drugs. Which is how I got down to 160 pounds. I was all head and calves. I actually fit into a size 4 women's overalls at one point. It was quite fabulous. Of course, I hated Tuesdays. For those of you not initiated to the circuit boy world, Tuesday was the day that you came down off your drug-induced high. And yes, I held a full-time job as well.
So, back to my metamphetamine use. I would never tell someone to do drugs. Unless you just want to get really skinny quickly. Of course, you may get addicted or even die but you do get skinny. Except for that one guy that I knew on the circuit scene who was a major Tina Freak. Tina was the slang for Crystal meth. He did so much Tina but for some reason never ever lost weight. I wonder what his eating habits were in private.
Ok, so back to me being skinny. I just want to be thin. I just want to be able to buy a pair of 28-inch waist pants. I don't ever remember buying a pair of 28-inch waist anything. I remember going down to 32 at one point but that was about it. Maybe I should have started using cocaine as well. I did actually but never really found it interesting. Plus the coke-heads I knew bored the crap out of me. The boys who used K with Tina were far more fun.
Anyhoo... so, for the rest of the summer. I am going to try to be dairy-free. Lactose seems to make me feel fat. I am also going to try to eat mostly unprocessed close-to-whole-state foods. What that means is that I avoid refined anything. Which means that I will crave sugar more than anything. Which means that I will be cranky since I cannot have it. Which means that I will be one major bitch unless I am working out or dancing. But who cares... I will be as close to thin as I can get. Later.
Recently, I have been asked numerous times what my next step will be. My standard answer is "Lunch." Today, it happened again. And again, I gave my standard answer. The thing is, today, I was asked this by the person I report to.
I hate that question. I know that my "boss" was asking because he wants me to actually move up. I have had the privilege of having nurturing bosses. He is definitely one of them. I hate to even call him a boss because he really is more of a buddy.
So, back to that dreaded question. In the position I had before this one, my superior was constantly asking what I was going to do next. I finally realized that she was asking because she was afraid that I may be "gunning" for her position. Truth is, the only thing I was interested in "gunning" for was her temporal lobe.
Before that, I worked for a guy who was all about me taking the next step. As long as the next step was to be his assistant because he knew I could do everything he could not. During my last review with him, he told me that he thought I would make the best "leader" ever. I told him that I was not interested in a leadership track and was more interested in being a buyer. I ended up leaving his department. I knew I was never going to take my next step with him. I feel for him because he will never know the satisfaction of mentoring someone successfully.
And today, after I gave my standard answer. My buddy told me that he was asking because certain powers that be have concerns about me. That they are worried that I am becoming unhappy. That my store is becoming too small for me. That I may one day just quit. So, I told him that one day, I may just quit. That it would all happen not because of the size of the store but because of my company rhetoric. That the concern they have for people like me should be concerns they should have for the entire work force.
I also told him that I was happy with where I was. That I was being paid well enough. That I had no intention of leaving my store. That I had no desire for more because what I did was actually satisfying. That they would have to drag me away from this position because, from my point of view, the next step would bring me someplace I have no desire to be. And that place would be a where I could barely say "Lunch." Later.