Boy, do I have some Tales to Tell...
For those of you who don't have a cat, you should know that they shed their hair. Constantly. Your entire wardrobe will have cat hair. There will be cat hair in your cupboards. Need I even mention area rugs? You'll have this constant feeling of having cat hair all over you. Until one day, you just don't even notice it.
Well, today, the inside of my nose was itching like crazy. It felt like there was cat hair in it. So, I went to the bedroom mirror and noticed that there was a cat hair in there. I tried to pick it out to no avail. Yeah, I know, bad image. Anyhoo...
I decided to head to the bathroom mirror for better lighting and to get our tweezers so I could yank that sucker out. Using the tweezers, I got a hold of the cat hair and yanked... OUCH!!! OH MY GOD! OH, SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY!! It's not cat hair at all!! I just yanked out a grey nose hair. A GREY MOTHER-FUCKING NOSE HAIR!
The end is near. I am doomed. My life is over.
Still stinging from the pain, I take a look at the other nostril. Yup. There's a grey one there too. Ugh. I'm feeling suddenly very old. Very very old.
The bf told me to get over it and put on my shoes so that we could go get dinner. Thank god for the Nero d'Avola. And the sauteed artichoke hearts.
Still, I have a grey nose hair. Double Ugh. Later.
Just typing this hurts.
Friday: 8:00am - 4:30pm Work, 5:00pm - 6:00pm Gym (Back, biceps, delts, lunges, shower), 6:05pm - 6:20pm Pizza, 6:30pm - 9:30pm Happy Hour PLUS (6 drinks), 10:00pm Crawl into bed.
Saturday: 8:00am Automatically wake up (dammit!), 8:01am OUCH! Sore hamstrings & back, 8:05AM Coffee and breakfast, 10:00am Leave to teach, 10:30am - 12:00pm Class, 12:30pm Back home for lunch, 2:00pm - 10:30pm Start busy day at work, 11:00pm Back home, 11:01pm Phone call from friend looking for comfort, chat 'til... 12:00am Crawl into bed.
Sunday: 8:00am Automatically wake up (Arrrrgghhhh!), 8:30am Coffee and breafast while folding laundry that bf left from other day (bastard!), 9:00am Make plans to workout, 9:10am Cancel plans to workout because I feel tired, 9:26am Blog about feeling old.
How do people do it? Remember when all you needed was two aspirin and two hours of sleep? Now I need two days and a ton of Leave-Me-The-Fuck-Alone to recover. I'm never going out again. And I am never having 6 cocktails in one night again. And I have to work from 2:00pm to 10:30pm. God let it be dead at work. Later.
So, I am looking for a nice sports coat/jacket. You know, the type you can just throw on when you are headed out for a semi-nice dinner. Since I don't own a collared shirt (well, not a formal one), I thought throwing a jacket over a T-shirt would at least be a nice thing to do.
Well, while shopping with my friend
Elissa, I saw this nice Calvin Klein jacket. Great cut. Nice lining. Beautiful material. Awesome price. NARROW SHOULDERS!!! Do designers make clothes for skinny boys? Do only skinny boys wear designer clothes? Am I relagated to boxy, old-fashioned jackets because I happen to lift weights? How do I eliminate all skinny boys (or designers) from this earth? Or at least feed them copious amounts of white bread? And it was sized as a Large! As if!
Guess I'll have to continue looking. Later.
WHY...
...do people wear low-slung tight jeans when they have fat rolls?
...do people insist on answering their cell phones as the subway train enters a tunnel?
...do people huff & puff when the plane is being returned to the gate because of mechanical problems?
...do people sit directly onto the steamroom tile?
...do some women wear high-heeled shoes if she can barely walk in them?
...do people show up late to a movie expecting to get the best seats in the house?
...do people want premium products for generic prices?
...do people say "I barely eat!" but yet they are still fat?
...is it that the people who are supposedly the most fastidious eaters/health-nuts look the most unhealthy?
...oh, why? Later.
Every two or three months, I pull out my shoe collection. First, I dust and clean any that need it. Then, I polish the leather and finish it by buffing with a soft-bristled brush. Yes, I am that obsessed. As a finishing touch, I put on a pair of dress socks and try on every pair. This includes walking from the bedroom to the coat closet to see what the shoes look like in the mirror. My husband wonders about me sometimes.
I have 14 pairs of dressy/fashionable/come-fuck-me shoes PLUS two pairs of sneakers, two pairs of dressy-casuals, two pairs of free work shoes, two pairs of hiking boots, and a pair of clogs. Do flip-flops count as shoes? If so, then I have three of those plus a pair of sandals for the summer. Some of my old friends call me "Imelda".
Yes. I have a shoe obsession. I love shoes. I love all kinds of shoes. I tend to spend a huge amount on a pair. I believe that your feet are one of the most important and valuable things on your person. Take care of them. I have significantly stopped buying anymore dress shoes because I just don't have anywhere to put them. I really can't afford anymore. Okay, maybe I have just prioritized my spending. I still do love going shopping for them. Occasionally, I will get a nice pair just for kicks (hee hee).
This brings me to my goal for the summer. I want to wear each pair at least once before the summer ends. This will involve going to fabulous dinners, fashionable bars/lounges, and fun parties. So, if you please, feel free to invite me to your shindig. I would love to wear a pair of my classic Patrick Cox Wanna-be's to it. Thanks for the help. Later.
