This weekend, my cousin Martha got married. My entire family attended. People from all over the country and the Philippines came. I attended my partner's grandmother's memorial. I had more fun than I would have if I had attended the wedding.

I am trying to figure out why I have such disdain for my extended family. My sister still seems to be able to tolerate them. She says she can't stand most of them. But she goes ahead and spends time with them. I am not even going to try to analyze that.

I do want to analyze why I have ZERO interest in being around my extended family. I thought about it for a moment: I would have attended the wedding if the rest of my extended family was not there. I think a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't feel accepted by them. My homosexual partnership has lasted longer and has certainly been more blissful than any of their marriages. I wonder if I work hard on my relationship to prove something? I don't feel that I do but who really understands their subconscious?

Martha invited me and Mike to the wedding. She recognizes that my relationship is the equivalent of any heterosexual union. If not even better. I probably would have enjoyed being around her and her now-husband. But the truth is, being around the extended family is more than I ever want to deal with. The last time I was around them, they referred to my partner of 10 years as a "friend". I corrected them. But I am not interested in correcting them anymore. I know that I should probably educate them about who and what I am. I have before. I don't feel I need to anymore.

I guess the truth is, I don't really find most of my extended family interesting. I actually don't feel like their opinion matters. I share nothing in common with them. And, once, I thought about whether I would be friends with them if they were not blood. And the answer was, and still is, a big fat "no".

I was going to say that I was saddened by that. But I am not. That would require me caring about how they feel about me. I have given them a chance to be part of my life. But since they have not tried, I don't feel I need to. So I won't. I do find it sad that I had more fun at a memorial than I would have at a wedding. But so be it. I can't help that my partner's neurotic family is infinitely more entertaining than mine.

Maybe that's it. Maybe the fact that my extended family is boring is the reason I don't want to be around them. I think I will stick to that reason. Because the others can be depressing. Later.  ¶ 9:33 PM