The partner and I are in the middle of our week-long-vacations-every-month-until-June tour. We just returned from (almost) a week in North Carolina (for his cousin's wedding) and Savannah (for the hell of it). Let's just say that I have had enough of the South for a while. A very long while.
This vacation reminded me of the fishbowl I live in. Where do I start? Well, how about I bullet point things just for clarity? Mmmmkay...
- It's difficult to follow a vegan diet down South.
- They love their meat down South, preferably deep-fried and/or processed.
- Apparently, the pairing of a Caucasian male and Asian male can attract attention.
- According to the priest who performed the wedding, marriage is between one man and one woman - and the woman is supposed to submit to the man.
- My partner refuses to submit to me.
- Wedding meals down South are way different from the ones up North. Pimento sandwiches... need I say more?
- I've never been referred to as a "Yankee"... until 4 days ago.
- A breakfast buffet is not really worth it. Ever. Since most of it is just packaged.
- Chain restaurants are the reason our country is obese with high blood pressure, diabetes, and clogged arteries. I ate at two on this trip AND will never go back to them.
- Southern hospitality is... well, not so much. Even from one gay man to another.
- If you drive the scenic route from Wrightsville Beach, NC to Savannah, GA, try to count the churches on the way down. Good luck.
- Fuck the scenic route. It isn't worth it. Get to your destination.
- Try not to get there on a Sunday. Very little is open for business.
- Do people really still ask for separate checks? Aren't we smart enough to just figure it out on our own?
- Down South, they consider Mac-n-Cheese a vegetable. Refer to the first bullet point.
On most vacations, the partner and I tend to find something that may one day draw us back. Or even something that makes us think living there would be nice. Not on this one. We're glad to be back home. Later.