Saturday, June 14, 2008
I hate weddings. So, I don't go. I just turn them down. And when I do, I hate when parties involved call me to ask me why I did. I don't feel that I have to explain why I don't want to go. I am 38 years old and refuse to do so.
I should clarify that I will go to a commitment ceremony depending on who is having it. They have to be very good friends who will definitely not have an atypical ceremony. Like, when our friends, Darren and Mary, got married. The ceremony was by their pool, in their backyard, with drinks being served during. The reception was under a tent and was buffet-style BBQ. Loved it.
I also escorted a my friend Juan to a friend's lavishly glamorous wedding. It would have been traditional except they played Crazy In Love when the bride walked in. Plus, the only time we sat down was when we ate one of the seven courses. Then, it was back to the dance floor to get down and boogie. Not to mention it was on the rooftop of some hotel in NYC.
So, this summer, I have been invited to four ceremonies. I agreed to go with Mike to his niece's wedding. Hers will be a traditional wedding that will have it share of drama. Because it already has. Let's just say that Mike had to convince me to go. On the other hand, I had to convince Mike to go to his high school best friend's ceremony which is both a wedding and a celebration of 20 years with his partner. He agreed to go because we are going to see our friend Samara too!!! We turned down one and I am about to turn down the other.
I hate weddings because they are just, well, just too much. Too much money spent on trying to impress people. Too much time wasted on thinking of what others will think. Too much energy placed into something that is meant to be meaningful but turns out contrived. Too much effort placed in making everyone happy. Too much drama because someone doesn't want to sit next to someone else; or the other way around. It's all just too much for me to be bothered with.
The one I am about to turn down involves my side of the family. The invitation came today and, FINALLY, they invited me and Mike. Not me and "a friend". It's nice but still not enough to make me want to go. I may be the only person in my family missing from that wedding. My sister has complained that she will have to explain my absence. I told her to tell the truth. That I don't go to weddings. Period. She frowned when I said that. I told her that whatever she does, don't lie or make excuses for my choice. Just tell them that I hate weddings. That's all. Later.
I should clarify that I will go to a commitment ceremony depending on who is having it. They have to be very good friends who will definitely not have an atypical ceremony. Like, when our friends, Darren and Mary, got married. The ceremony was by their pool, in their backyard, with drinks being served during. The reception was under a tent and was buffet-style BBQ. Loved it.
I also escorted a my friend Juan to a friend's lavishly glamorous wedding. It would have been traditional except they played Crazy In Love when the bride walked in. Plus, the only time we sat down was when we ate one of the seven courses. Then, it was back to the dance floor to get down and boogie. Not to mention it was on the rooftop of some hotel in NYC.
So, this summer, I have been invited to four ceremonies. I agreed to go with Mike to his niece's wedding. Hers will be a traditional wedding that will have it share of drama. Because it already has. Let's just say that Mike had to convince me to go. On the other hand, I had to convince Mike to go to his high school best friend's ceremony which is both a wedding and a celebration of 20 years with his partner. He agreed to go because we are going to see our friend Samara too!!! We turned down one and I am about to turn down the other.
I hate weddings because they are just, well, just too much. Too much money spent on trying to impress people. Too much time wasted on thinking of what others will think. Too much energy placed into something that is meant to be meaningful but turns out contrived. Too much effort placed in making everyone happy. Too much drama because someone doesn't want to sit next to someone else; or the other way around. It's all just too much for me to be bothered with.
The one I am about to turn down involves my side of the family. The invitation came today and, FINALLY, they invited me and Mike. Not me and "a friend". It's nice but still not enough to make me want to go. I may be the only person in my family missing from that wedding. My sister has complained that she will have to explain my absence. I told her to tell the truth. That I don't go to weddings. Period. She frowned when I said that. I told her that whatever she does, don't lie or make excuses for my choice. Just tell them that I hate weddings. That's all. Later.
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I also hate weddings for the same reasons you listed. I married myt partner in a private cerempony in a gay Ministers basement over 30 years ago.
Since gay marriage is still not recgonized we never went any further. Last year we were both ill and he died of several heart attacks. We were together for 34 years. The commitment is between the persons involved and (I am going on a limb but) also to G-d (if you believe in G-d).
One problem I see is folk gay and
straight do not put enough effort into being together if you are unsure of who they are with. The highs are increadable the lows make the pits seem like paradise but both have to work at the relationship it is not easy.
I think relationships all relationships should be celebrated and we should be aware enough to do that there is too little caring overall fpr all.
Since gay marriage is still not recgonized we never went any further. Last year we were both ill and he died of several heart attacks. We were together for 34 years. The commitment is between the persons involved and (I am going on a limb but) also to G-d (if you believe in G-d).
One problem I see is folk gay and
straight do not put enough effort into being together if you are unsure of who they are with. The highs are increadable the lows make the pits seem like paradise but both have to work at the relationship it is not easy.
I think relationships all relationships should be celebrated and we should be aware enough to do that there is too little caring overall fpr all.
# posted by 
: 7:04 PM
: 7:04 PM
Dear anonymous, I admire and celebrate your 34-year commitment to your partner. I hope to one day be able to say that about relationship.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
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