I guess that a consequence of getting older is that you have to make more decisions. And, as you get older, the decisions become more consequential. I had to make a decision yesterday. Nothing bad at all. Actually good. But still a decision. A consequential one.
When I was little, I had a very hard time saying goodbye. I had a hard time saying hello but I always got over it. The goodbye was always difficult for me. I remember my family having visitors and me being too shy to say hello. About 15 minutes later, I would be all friendly and jolly. But when it came time for our friends to leave, I would get upset. I remember a time when I would ask them not to leave and then, when they did, would go into the bedroom to cry. I remember my mother comforting me.
I remember when my sister left Nigeria for the U.S.A. She was leaving to attend secondary school in Liverpool, NY. I remember being inconsolable at the airport. I watched her get onto the plane. I remember pressing up against the terminal window, screaming at my mom to bring her back. I remember, in the car going home, asking my mom to call the airport to tell them we made a big mistake; to send her back. I wonder how my mom felt at that time. I was three. I remember it very well. It may be my first heart-wrenching event. I remember crying for the rest of the day. To this day, I get teary thinking about it. I wonder what my parents felt that day. I can't even imagine.
So, tomorrow, I will be notifying my current leadership of my intent to move on. I'm looking to move on to another location. Not leave my company. Same position. Bigger tasks. Almost double the staff. I am excited because I get to work with my company idol/mentor. And I get to work with other great people. More importantly, I think if I join the team, we can make strides that will become the company gold standard. Pretty lofty vision.
I also feel sad because I may have to say goodbye to some people that I love. People that are so comfortable to me and me to them. I hope that I don't start crying when I talk to them. Maybe, I'll just sweep into the office, announce my intent, and then step away to do something... something busy. Something where I don't have to feel like I am saying goodbye.
Something consequential. Later.