Sometimes, you need to remind yourself of good moments in your life.
During my first few years of living in New York, I was a full-time fitness instructor. I had auditioned at one club because a friend granted me a favor. I got a job teaching classes but only during certain times of the day (basically, the ones nobody wanted). It was a time when fitness classes were just beginning to explode and fitness instructors were becoming rock stars; at least within their field.
About a year into teaching and with a lot more confidence & classes, I got word that one of the most popular and most difficult places to get a teaching gig was holding open auditions. It was well known that the group fitness director was more than fine with not hiring anyone during an audition. She was quite the star instructor herself and expected a lot from the instructors who worked for her. I decided to give it a shot.
If you are an actor, you probably are used to walking into an open call filled with people. Well, I am not an actor. So, when I got to the audition and there were about 30 people, I was slightly intimidated. Nonetheless, I stayed.
Like clockwork, in walked the Fitness Director. She says hello to nobody in particular, strides over to the stereo, holds up a tape (yes, that long ago), and says, "You will audition whatever discipline you think you are good in to this tape and this tape only. You are not allowed to change the tempo. I am not just looking for instructors. I am looking for stars. So, if you aren't a star, you should just leave now." Did I mention I was intimidated to begin with?
Someone in the crowds meekly asks, "Can we participate during the audition?" The director answered, "It would be nice." So, about five of us went up to participate. One brave soul, a young lady, volunteered to start. I can't remember what she did. I do remember that after a couple of minutes, she was thanked by the director, and the next person was asked to start their audition. I went up and began teaching a low impact aerobics routine. I don't remember much except that afterwards, the first young lady up told me that I was a great instructor. Of course, one never feels positive about their performance. But hey, I gave it my best shot.
I participated in about 90% of the auditions. When the last one ended, the Director turned off the music, pulled out the tape, walked to the middle of the room, and looked around. All the instructors had moved to the back wall of the studio at this point. I was sitting next to a couple of exercise balls, behind two instructors. I know that I was probably slinking away and preparing myself for the rejection.
The Director looked around and said, "Where are you?" She looked around one more time and finally said, "Ah, there you are. You can stay. The rest of you, thanks for coming." It was at that moment that I noticed that she was pointing at me. I can't remember how I felt but it probably was something good. One of the instructors then asked, "What about the rest of the us?" In full seriousness, the Director replied, "I am looking for stars."