Tonight, Mike asked me what I wanted for my birthday. I hugged him and told him that I have everything I want. He hugged me back and said, "No, really. What do you want for your birthday?"
I couldn't think of anything. We were planning on going out for dinner but I resisted making any reservations because there was a chance of him having to go out of town on a last minute business trip. I don't really have any "thing" that I really want. Or need.
I suggested going out to a local restaurant for some really good Italian food. But even as I type this, I am not really set on doing that... even if the restaurant is in my building. I suggested ordering in from a local cuban restaurant that makes some of the best crackling chicken and mofongo that I have ever tasted. We probably wiill but I am not really that commited to it.
A friend took me out for dinner tonight. We had a great time just talking and laughing. Maybe that's what I really want for my birthday: to spend time with my close loved ones, one at a time. I will be working the closing shift on my birthday, so most of the celebrations I will be doing are either before or after.
Honestly, I am not looking to do anything boisterous or anything that requires preparation of any sort. I kinda want it to just happen like it did tonight: E. coming to meet me at the store to take me out to dinner. It's been years since I remember going out with a bunch of people to celebrate my birthday. I can't remember the last time. Honestly, I can't.
I do remember years of wanting material things. Followed by years of wanting to be taken out dancing. After that, years of wanting to be treated to some crazy expensive elegant dinners. And now, all I can think of doing is sitting at home, in my pajamas, eating fried chicken with mofongo and yellow rice. With my husband smiling by my side.
Maybe that's what I want: laughter and smiles from the people around me. Because at 37, seeing the people around you laughing and smiling is the best thing in the entire world. Later.