Throughout my entire life, I have always given 110% at work. I've also been very blessed with the opportunity to do things that I enjoy or have enjoyed doing. I have been accused of caring to much about how my work is done. I have been accused of putting up standards or expectations, for myself and my coworkers, that can be very high. I tend to think of those expectations as "doing what you are getting paid to do." Unfortunately, few others share the same thoughts.

I still do give my all when it comes to work. Many times, I have risen through the ranks faster than I should have. I say that because I have also grown tired of working around people who do not strive to be as aggressive as me. In the end, I get fed up with people not striving as hard as I do and I leave. With my current job, I have promised myself not to move up too fast. And I have stuck to it. Unfortunately, I still have those high expectations.

I often ask why people just can't come in and do their work. That's all. Do it to the best and fullest that you can. I don't think it's much to ask. Until recently. I have become much more complacent. Actually, I have become a lot more apathetic. But for now, complacent will be the word I will use to describe me at work. I am sure part of the reason is because I work for someone who doesn't seem to care if any of my teammates work hard or hardly work. So, my thinking has come down to: if he doesn't care, why the hell should I; he gets paid to care. Unfortunately, not only does he seem not to care, he seems to not know what to do to care.

I hate feeling this way because I tend to really care about what I do when I am doing it. I think part of my aging process is understanding what work is: do what is expected of you and do it well. Forty hours a week is a lot of time to spend being mediocre or less; so be productive. But even more than being productive, understand that work is just work. It's not the reason I, or you, exist. It's nothing more than a means to an end. Unfortunately, we need work to get the means we need to get to our end.

And the end is my life at home, with the love of my life, my beloved cat, my dear friends, and my well-being. Fortunately, I am starting to realize that more and more. Later.  ¶ 1:02 AM