Wednesday, September 06, 2006
This past weekend, I watched two movies in which the main character proclaimed their love for someone they seemed to have only recently met or reconnected with. In both cases, my first thought was "Uhhh, how can you say you are in love when you haven't even officially dated?" Then, I remembered "Oh, right, this only happens in the movies."
Truth is that our view on falling or being in love is quite distorted by the movies. I blame Hollywood for making us think that love happens quickly. It rarely does. The movies would like to make us think that there is always a clear cut moment of when you fall in love. It is rarely so definitive. And often, movies define love as so obvious and tangible that it will signal itself to you in the most obvious fashion. Uhhhh, yeah... right.
What I want to know is when you know you are in love? When was the first time you realized that your affection for that someone goes beyond just like & sexual attraction? When did you realize you were in love with that person? Was it some event? Was it something they said? Was it something they did? Was it something you did? Was it something you felt?
From my experience, it is when you feel safe and secure enough to share, create, and enjoy moments together without expectation or judgement. When you want to go for a walk in a park... wherever, together. When you want to laugh with each other... constantly. When even after a long day of work, you cannot wait to go home... to him. When all the words can be said... or not. When the only picture of you and him, twenty years from now... is you and him, wherever. That's when I knew I was in love. For good. Later.
Truth is that our view on falling or being in love is quite distorted by the movies. I blame Hollywood for making us think that love happens quickly. It rarely does. The movies would like to make us think that there is always a clear cut moment of when you fall in love. It is rarely so definitive. And often, movies define love as so obvious and tangible that it will signal itself to you in the most obvious fashion. Uhhhh, yeah... right.
What I want to know is when you know you are in love? When was the first time you realized that your affection for that someone goes beyond just like & sexual attraction? When did you realize you were in love with that person? Was it some event? Was it something they said? Was it something they did? Was it something you did? Was it something you felt?
From my experience, it is when you feel safe and secure enough to share, create, and enjoy moments together without expectation or judgement. When you want to go for a walk in a park... wherever, together. When you want to laugh with each other... constantly. When even after a long day of work, you cannot wait to go home... to him. When all the words can be said... or not. When the only picture of you and him, twenty years from now... is you and him, wherever. That's when I knew I was in love. For good. Later.
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That sounds exactly right to me.
Sometimes I freak about turning 30 and not having been in a long term relationship. Deep down, I know that's silly, but I still can't help feeling a little bad about it.
Sometimes I freak about turning 30 and not having been in a long term relationship. Deep down, I know that's silly, but I still can't help feeling a little bad about it.
To top off my crappy vacation, I come home to hear from my ex, who informs me that I was never important to him.
Some guys are just such asses.
Some guys are just such asses.
I'm a born romantic, and I tend to idealize and, in the idealization, I fall in love. Other times, the love is more real. But one prominent feature for me is when I look into someone's eyes and see their soul. When the view is unobstructed, you just know. Corny, yeah.
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