Over lunch the other day, my friend D. and I were having a very heavy conversation. That morning, her girlfriend had told her that she was not ready to be in a relationship because of all the psychological issues she was having. D.'s girlfriend has been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and lately, because of stress, has been having psychotic episodes. Since, this relationship is new, D. has never experienced any of this and does not know what to do. On top of it all, they had just moved in together. It's true what they say about lesbians: they do bring a moving truck to the second date. Oh, and did I tell you, D.'s girlfriend is not really a city girl; actually, crunchy granola best describes what she is like. Honeyed crunchy granola.
By the end of lunch, we had come up with a plan for D. She was going to get some help from a national group that deals with psychological issues like this. She was also going to call the girlfriend's sister (who lives in NYC) and a friend to get some help and information on how to help. I told her that the bottom line was that this is beyond our scope of knowledge and she needs to get assistance so that she can better deal with this situation.
While waiting for the check, I told D. that I was going to check out this new coffee shop that was doing some stuff for the company I work for. I wanted to get an idea as to what the whole business was like. I also said that I was going to head home after, cook dinner, watch Project Runway, and just hang out with my husband. At that point, she asks, "Is this all that life is going to be? Work, go home, hang out with friends occasionally, and start the cycle all over again?" I said, "Yup. That's what life is all about. One big routine." She then said, "But it has to be more!". I said, "Nope. It doesn't have to be. It's just one big routine. With a few bumps thrown in sometimes."
And you know what? Life is one big routine. Nothing more. Once in a while something exciting happens. But you know what? That's it. Don't tell me that there is always something better that will come along. No it won't. And if you believe that, you will spend your time waiting. And waiting. And waiting. Not living. Just waiting. Hoping that something will come along.
And please don't tell me that you have to make it happen. You may have to do things to stir up your life. But, in order to be able to stir up your life, you have to be able to sustain your life. And to do that, you have to have one big routine. Yup, one big routine to pay the bills. To fill up the time that connects those bumps that make life interesting. One big routine that makes you realize how special some of those bumps are.
Now, I didn't say that your routine had to be mundane. I just said that it was a routine. You make it what it is. You make it as exciting or as boring as you want. But you know what? It's still a routine. One big routine. Make the best out of it.
I gotta go finish up my routine for the day. Later.