A while back, I was freelancing as a cook. I had secured a pretty frequent freelance gig with a kitchen that not only paid well but was also a nice place to work. It had the stress and creativity that is expected but also had a camraderie that is often missing from the testosterone-filled world of professional cooking. I was particularly proud of being part of this kitchen because I had sent my resume in without expecting much, got a job for the day, and ended up being asked back constantly. In the next two years, I was called back to work for them so often that all the staff and patrons considered me part of the team. During the time I was there, I made it clear that I wanted a position there. I did something I never do either: I would change my schedule on less than an hour's notice to work for them.

About 9 months ago, a position opened up. Nevermind that I found out about the open position via an internet job search. Nevermind that I thought that the job posting was for another company but ended up being the one I freelance for. I interviewed for the position anyway. During the interview, the chef spoke to me as if I had the position already (which caught me off-guard). So, I left the interview feeling good. Not confident, just good. Three weeks later, I still had not heard from him. I emailed him and got a response saying that no decision had been made. Two weeks more and I decide to email him one more time. I received an email saying that the position had been filled. Done.

To say that I was disappointed does not describe how I felt. I was disappointed. I also felt betrayed, used, and disposed. I emailed him back with a carefully-crafted letter asking what it was that I did not possess that took me out of the running. No answer. I was definitely disappointed. And I was mad.

Today, I am still mad but not about gettting the job. I am still mad that I had to contact him to find out that I did not get the job. I am mad that after rearranging my schedule to get them out of binds, I didn't even merit a personal phone call. This past February, I had not received my tax documents from them. I emailed him asking who to contact about this. I am mad that I did not receive any sort of email from him. I am mad about that.

I recently read an article in which he, the chef, was giving advice about teaching healthy eating to kids and adults. He was talking about how healthy eating habits are learned and learning how to make good choices is something that he believes is his goal in life. Yeah, thanks a lot Mr. 300-pounds-was-being-treated-for-three-gastrointestinal-issues-and-is-still-obese-even-though-he-has-been-warned-that-his-life-may-depend-on-it. I am sure getting advise from you about healthy eating is a good thing.

I still feel I deserve an explanation. I still feel that he betrayed my loyalty. I really still feel that he betrayed what I considered a friendship. I also found out who got the job. I know how she cooks. I know her strengths. I know her weaknesses. I wish her luck. I wish them luck. I'm not mad about that. Later.  ¶ 9:26 AM