Sometimes I feel like I never belong. Most of the time, I am very proud to be different. I like the fact that I don't fit into any type of societal mold. At the gym, I am not like other group exercise instructors. Very few of them will leave the front of the room while teaching a class to jump onto the box of weights in the back, teach while perched up on said box, while gyrating like a go-go boy on crack. It's not often one sees such behavior by a 5' 6", 178 lb., hairy-chested & -legged, shaved head Filipino man who happens to be wearing fire engine red supplex shorts.

While working out, I tend to wear the same short shorts. I also tend to not do the same exercises that most of the other gentlemen are doing. I lean more toward the functional exercises worrying more about my form than the amount of weight I lift. It has gotten me some very lean muscle mass which I am sure baffles some of my fellow weight trainers. I tend to get looks of shock and sneer. Not that I care but after a while, it just gets old. Ya seen it before, get over it.

My non-gym life has made me feel very different lately. I have been in the same loving relationship for almost seven years. It seems like more and more, I am surrounded by people who are single. When we do meet couples, they have this "when are you going to have a child" feel to them. I hate that homosexuals couples are getting that "way" with their bretheren. If not the "child" thing, then the "am sure you have an open relationship because we do and it's the only way we stay together" feel. Well, we are monogamous. We believe in monogamy. We agreed that if we have to stray from each other, then we should just be friends and not partners. We feel very strongly about it. Our love is for each other - spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

At a time when all I want to do is enjoy my life and not over-analyze it, I seem run into people who do. Whether they are old or new friends. Can't a girl just have some fun? Can't we just gossip about that boy we used to know and not worry that our bitchyness is a factor of our self-hatred? What happened to good ole fashioned cattiness? I'm I the only person not working on some sort of self-enlightenment as I get older? Speaking of cats, even my cat is getting very touchy feely with me. As I type, her head is resting on my left wrist and she is lying on one-third of the keyboard.

Nobody told me that life would get this serious. Later.
  ¶ 1:28 PM