As a fitness professional, I often find myself being asked about how to achieve a better body. My standard response is always something about accepting the body you have and making it the best it can be. There are times I cringe when I say that because I do understand wanting something that I know is difficult, if not near impossible, to achieve. Somedays, I just want to say, "Workout like mad, deprive yourself of most of the foods you love, get some plastic surgery, and pray like you've never prayed before!"

I also understand that no matter how much you want to be the mature, together, stable adult, you always will feel some animosity toward your ex.

My good friend, K, called me after he got off the phone with his ex; he hadn't talked to him in almost 5 years. It was not the most amicable split. I actually introduced K to his ex who was my friend before I even knew K.

I asked K how he felt after. K said that he realizes that he is not over him. K also feels that there is something that is unfinished between them. The ex wants to keep in touch. K is trying to be strong. But why? Why do any of us have to be strong when it comes to our exes? I for one know that my ex feels that I am still mad at him but will forever love me because I changed his life. Well, fuck you too.

No matter how much you want to show your ex that, "Hey, no hard feelings," when it comes down to it, it's not true. Someone got hurt and both sides know that. If you were the side that got hurt, there is always going to be "hard feelings". A couple of years back, I told my ex that I no longer want to hold on to my anger towards him. I told him after he had tried several times to contact me. I finally emailed him back saying that I am letting go of my anger but I still cannot be his best buddy. That, I would continue to be polite when I saw him but I would not make an effort to rekindle any type of relationship, romantic or otherwise. When I do see him, he tries his best to chat me up. I try my best to not stab his left eye out.

I do believe that releasing some of the anger is important for further growth. I don't believe in forgetting the pain. I don't think I need to forget to forgive. Sometimes I don't even think we need to forgive. Pain is is just another feeling; like joy; like love; like envy. I'd rather feel than not. Later.  ¶ 10:23 PM