As confident as we feel about ourselves outwardly, deep down inside, we are just a bunch of dorks. For example, when a man who you find excessively attractive and downright bootylicious (did I really say that?) flirts with you, BUT you have been in a monogamous relationship for almost seven years and don't plan on changing that, how exactly do you react?

And if said hottie is just being friendly, how do you know? How does one determine if someone is just being sincerely friendly or verbally flirting? Is constantly asking exercise advice, even though it is obvious he does not need it, considered flirting? Is constantly making eye contact and smiling considered flirting? Is coming over to the other side of the weight room just to say hello considered flirting?

And if you have been in a monogamous relationship for the past six years and don't plan on changing it, when is it appropriate to mention that you have been? And is it really appropriate? What if he is reallly just a friendly guy looking to meet a new friend?

I guess all this would not matter if you did not find him attractive. Or if you did not find his sinewy middle deltoid scrumptuous. Or that the way his wavy golden locks frame his strong jaw line makes him look heavenly. Or that the way his tank top clings to his sweaty back is just, just.... just. Sorry...

I guess there is no way to really determine. Why is it that most gay men think that because you are being friendly, you are automatically flirting with them or even interested in them sexually? Why does our mind automatically go there? And do we need to set boundaries right away? Or is it just me?

A friend of mine had an impromptu coffee drink with a classmate. The classmate did not mention that he was dating someone. When my friend finally found that out, he was upset. My friend felt that the classmate should have mentioned this before. I said, "But you only ran into him at Starbucks and sat down and chatted with him. That's not a date and you have not gone on one yet!" My friend was still upset.

What we need to do is start looking at conversation as CONVERSATION. That's it. If the hottie asks you out, then, and only then, is it appropriate and necessary to tell him that you are in a six year mongamous relationship which you don't plan on changing. Life is simpler than we make it. Later.  ¶ 8:46 AM