Despite the negative spin I place on the gym, I honestly do believe that it still is a wonderful place to work and be. An old co-worker of mine reminded me of that the other night. I was taking group exercise classes (known as aerobics) before I started working for the health & fitness industry. It started at the University of Buffalo...

Dennis, a fellow Electrical Engineering major, dared me to go with him and Amy, his wife now, to an aerobics class. Well, the class was in a lounge that had a concrete floor covered by carpet. The class was led by a large screen TV and VCR with a tape of Jane Fonda popped in. To this day, I credit my fitness to Ms. Fonda; I will forever be grateful. Anyway. I remember huffing and puffing and struggling and bitching until we finally stopped. I also remember saying, "God, it's over!" To which some girl said, "That was just the warm-up." So, being me, I stayed. I finished the tape. I passed out on my bed. But I did get up and go back the next day.

Fast forward to a year and a half later... I had gone from a chubby 220 lbs down to a svelte 165 lbs. Needless to say, I felt great. I felt strong. I felt sexy. I felt confident. I felt attractive. I felt that others might find me attractive. I also did something that may be the key to who I am, I came out to myself.

Not everyone goes through such a moment. It is different for all homosexuals. For me, somewhere deep inside, I had equated homosexuality with ugliness; physical and psychological. I spent most of my time making sure that people liked me. I was the life of the party. The person that everyone liked to spend time with. I was the over-achiever who would own the house with the white picket fence, two cars, and a dog. The person with inner-beauty, too. But I always had problems with my weight and physical self.

When I changed my body and my attitude, something inside changed. I felt like I could conquer it all. Something like being gay was minor compared to it all. I was just another person who was moving through life with the same problems as everyone else. I just liked having sex with men, ONLY! It was okay to come out because no matter what anyone thought, I did not depend on them to be who I was. I achieved that all on my own. Nobody's judgement mattered anymore.

So, thanks to the gym and exercise for being the catalysts to me and a lot of other people who have used their positive gym results to be who they truly are. Thanks for the freedom. I don't own the house, two cars, and a dog. I do co-own a 1 bedroom plus den Co-op with a wonderful man, own 20 pairs of shoes, and a cat AND that is just as wonderful. Later.  ¶ 11:17 AM