As a fitness instructor, I get to create a very comfortable schedule. I tend to work when I want to and where I want to. When you are new to the business, this is fantastic. You get to do something (exercise) that you are going to do anyway AND get paid. Not to mention the fact that you can take naps in the middle of the day. You also get the option of spending your day doing other things besides sitting behind a desk. In short, fitness instruction is like freelancing; AND it comes with the option of getting benefits if you work as a full-time instructor.

As a cook, freelancing is also great. You get to work in a kitchen (which I love) without the pressure of standing on a restaurant line being screamed at by some unhappy Sous Chef who has been there for 20 years. On top of all of that, you get paid between $15-20 for freelance work as opposed to $7-10 for restaurant cooking. By now, you are thinking, "at least you get benefits in a restaurant". Think again! Line cooks do not get any type of benefits (health or otherwise) for the hours they spend making expensive dishes for demanding clientele.

Of course, as in any freelance work the downside is knowing that your current work is finite. Even though the only time I have ever truly struggled to make ends meet is when I was a manager at a wine store, I still freak out when I am not working either as a fitness instructor or freelance cook. Recently, I have been especially anxious about not having any cooking work. I get scared that I will never be called to work in a kitchen again because my skills will become rusty. I get anxious that all the downtime I have is not doing me any good emotionally.

I constantly look for freelance cooking work by applying to various catering companies. Unlike other companies, most catering companies are run by one person, who happens to be the chef, the manager, the marketing rep, and any number of other titles. Of course, they are so inundated that they don't always necessarily get back to you right away. Which of course adds to my anxiety about being idle. But, nonetheless, I continue to look. Yesterday, I even applied to work in a restaurant as a prep/line cook. I did it once, so I thought I would give it another try but this time in a less-pressurized environment.

Even though I have been teaching a lot of classes (which does pay well), I fear that I am being sucked back into the health club industry. I don't feel comfortable with that; I don't want that. I don't want to go back to relying on the fitness industry for my well-being. I love teaching classes but I don't want it to be my main source of income again. I do see myself having some sort of kitchen position while teaching a few classes a week; about two to four. The idea of having to physically exert so much energy into something that I know will not be my future is disheartening. I don't feel that teaching so many classes is helping me pursue a career in the culinary world. I worry that I will be stuck in the fitness industry.

On an up note, all this exercise has gotten me in great shape. Later.  ¶ 10:57 AM