My first job at a gym was being a Front Desk Receptionist. And since I was the newest staff in the gym, I was given the most coveted shift of 5:30am-1:30pm. Now, you are probably thinking, "How the hell does one even wake up at that time let alone go to the gym to work out?!?!?!" Well, I am here to say that every morning, there was a line of 15 to 20 people waiting for the gym to open at 6:00am. The line of people was not exactly the issue. Neither was the fact that I had to wake up at 5:00am to get to work. The issue was the schizophrenic, neurotic, obsessive, compulsive, anorexic woman who would show up at 5:30am to stand in line.

Now, it would be perfectly fine if all she did was stand in line and wait for me to open the gym at 6:00am. But NOOOOOO! Ms. Electric Blue would arrive in her electric blue unitard and knock on the door to ask me what time it was. She would continue to do this every 5 minutes. Occasionally, she would tell me that the other staff let her in early so that she could start her workout early. She would also ask to just come in because she was feeling cold standing outside waiting for the gym to open. She would continually do this while I was trying to get the place set up to open promptly at 6:00am.

After, about 2-3 weeks of her neuroses, I decided to take matters into my own hand. On a particularly crisp winter morning, at around 5:55am, she began pounding on the front door. There was a line of about 12 people waiting to get in. I looked up from my duties, threw a bunch of things I was carrying on the desk, walked to the front door, opened it, and stepped outside. In the most bitchy voice I could muster, I said, "If you continue to knock on this front door and interrupt me, I will not be able to accomplish my duties and will be forced to delay the opening of the club. Which means that all the people behind you will also not be able to come in from the cold because of your lack of patience. If you are cold, then go home and stay home until we open!" She was so horrified that I had yelled at her. The other members burst out in laughter so hard that she would have crawled up into a ball if she could.

She stopped knocking on the door for about a week. Then her neuroses kicked back in. But nevertheless, I got to yell at her. What I really should have done is kick her in the face. Alas, I can't do that since I have no idea where she is now. Later.  ¶ 8:36 AM