Have you ever thought of working for a gym/health club? Better yet, have you ever thought, "How the hell did that person get a job at this health club? Is this one of those welfare/prison exchange programs? Now, before anyone emails me and tells me how programs like that help give those who are less fortunate a chance, save it! You work with them for a couple of years, then email me. Better yet, have them work for you for a couple of years, then email me.

Here is a description of the type of person who works the front desk at the gym OR, at least, any of your local New York Sports Clubs:

Front Desk Associate Description

They should be the first person you see as you enter the gym; EMPHASIS on the "should be". Some of you know that this is not always true as some of them decide that they don't always need to be at the front desk to make sure that only paying members and registered guests enter the gym. If you think this is not a big deal, keep that in mind next time you think the gym is too crowded or your locker is broken into.

Their basic function is to welcome you to the club and check you in. They should be able to answer most basic questions about the facility: where to get towels, what classes are available, where the locker room is, what floor the free weights are on. Truthfully, most of them are capable of maybe one of the formerly mentioned functions and sometimes less.

Here at the New York City facilities, we run the gamut of barely conscious to absolutely stupid. Some front desk associates couldn't smile if their lives depended on it. Let's just say that you wouldn't really describe them as people persons which leads you to ask "How did they get this job?" They don't use the gym for anything but to make their measly pay; check out how many unhealthy, overweight people man the front desk.

They could not tell you what classes are going on EVEN THOUGH they have worked the same shift for the past six months. They certainly don't know about any of the programs that the gym has to offer AND worse yet, they could not tell you how to get information on that or who else would know. Besides, they are too busy trying to remember if they punched in/out today/yesterday or if they are entitled a 15 minute cigarette break during today's shift because they sure could use that break to go call their best friend to talk about last weekend's jam.

Don't bother saying hello because they are barely smart enough to acknowledge your presence; looking up would demand too much energy and they need that energy to fuel what little brain function they have (i.e. remembering their names, punching the time clock, etc). Plus, saying hello would mean they may have to converse with you and they can barely form complete thoughts.

Depending on the time of day you arrive, they are either eating a bagel with egg, cheese, bacon, and ketchup, chatting on the phone with their best friend's baby's father's next-door-neighbor's crack-head cousin, or gabbing away with the other front desk associates about the new fake gucci pocket-book they got from Chinatown (which they think is real).

Now, I state the above with a lot of bitterness because when I was a front desk associate, I worked my ass off to make sure the members and other staff got good service. AND I only got paid $6.00/hour!!!!!!! There are those front desk associates who are amazing and chances are they last about 3 months and then are whisked off to become Weekend Managers or more. My thoughts are: If you don't like this job, then leave. Part of being a front desk associate is being a congenial and welcoming NOT sour and ugly. Part of being a front desk associate is being knowledgeable about the facilities and its offerings NOT barely cognizant of the fact that people are here to exercise. One female associate at a club I work at is so brain dead, she gets this quizitive look in her eyes when I say hello; I can hear the wind whipping through the empty cavity between her ears. And since I am on my soapbox, to all front desk associates in the world: USE YOUR FREE MEMBERSHIP AND GET SOME EXERCISE!!!!!!!!!!!! It just may improve your outlook on life and get you a much more rewarding job elsewhere. Next blog: the Fitness Trainers. Later.  ¶ 11:15 PM