After working out this morning, I thought I would share some things that I think most gym users should keep in mind the next time they workout:

If you don't know how to use a piece of equipment (cardio machine, weight machine, drinking fountain), please ask anyone from the training staff for help. That's what they are hired for. Don't ask the housekeeper (who barely speaks English) about the proper settings for the new stairmaster or the correct amont of weight to lift.

When checking in at the front desk, check in, get your towel, and move on. The rest of us would like to get in as well and we really don't care to hear your idle chit chat with the receptionist. By the way, most receptionists don't really want to hear your point of view on the state of the economy; especially not at $7.00/hour.

If you see an "Out of Order" sign on a piece of equipment, it's OUT OF ORDER!!!!! Don't try to start it, shake it, or kick it. It still won't work.

Try to remember that the quality of your exercise is BY FAR more important than the quantity you do. Just because you can lift 350 lbs on the incline bench press twice, while you contort your body into positions that any gymnast would envy, doesn't mean you are doing your body any good. Unless you are training for the Mr. Universe contest, you don't need that much weight. A note to my "sisterhood": You don't look that butch lifting that much weight. Plus the tight 2xist tank top and shaved legs give you away.

When exercising whether its cardio or weights, WATCH YOUR FORM. Here's a phrase to remember: Work out the way you want to end up looking. So, if you want to look locked-kneed, hunched-over, and lop-sided, GO FOR IT. Who the hell am I not to tell you to look like that. Plus that may be the latest thing; I've been out of the loop when it comes to the latest trends.

Guys....... get rid of the MC Hammer pants.

Ladies...... STOP with the lifting of 3 lb. weights. Your Coach bag weighs a lot more than that.

Is it me or do people hang out too long in the locker rooms? Just checking.

If you haven't done any cardio or lifted any weights, alternating between the steam room and sauna for an hour is not considered exercise. Unless I am missing something. Am I?

Couples who work out together: please do not wear matching outfits! Just plain TACKY!!!

And finally, no matter how bad your day is, no matter who wronged you when you were a child, no matter who turned you down for that job/date/one-night-stand, when you make eye contact with someone, SMILE!!!!!!!! It makes all of us feel more comfortable. Plus it just might get you a date with the cute boy who works out on the same days you do. I speak from experience. (hee hee hee) Later.



  ¶ 12:25 PM