I'm feeling emotionally crazy. But I always feel emotionally crazy when something is about to change in my life. It's almost like an injury that gets stirred up by a change in the weather. But rather than physical, it's emotional. And emotionally, I am stirred by music. And in this instance, I am very emotionally stirred by the music of Glee.

It sound weird to repeat that to myself. I love Glee because it is such an escape from the real world. It allows me a chance to not be part of my life. But for some reason, the music seems to make me even more a part of what is going on in my life. I am still not sure how I feel about that. But I am definitely feeling. And strongly feeling.

I leave for a vacation in a week. For a week. I will use this moment to just think about nothing. Or maybe, everything. It's weird being in this situation. I'm not exactly out of control. On the contrary, I am in total control of what happens to me job-wise. Career-wise, not really. But I do have the power to give it a nudge. It's weird. I could just stay. But I don't want to. Mainly because I have never been the type to just stay and allow myself to be "beat".

So, here I am listening to the same songs again and again. Specifically, songs from my favorite show: Glee. What that does that make me? A loser. I don't know. I guess I don't have it that bad. Nope, I don't have it bad at all. Maybe it isn't bad. Maybe it isn't bad to be a loser. A loser like me. Later.  ¶ 11:37 PM 0 comments

  After the announcement that my department was being restructured and my position eliminated, I have been less than motivated to do anything at work. Unfortunately, the universe is not heeding my apathy. And I have been teaching more than I care to.

There is something that is happening at work that makes me want to show up. It makes me want to show up and laugh. And I have. I really should not laugh at the incompetency of the people who supposedly want to improve the structure by eliminating the only reason the structure held together. But hey, I don't run the place, so what the hell do I know?

Here's what I know. I know that if you plan on changing someone's life by taking away what they worked hard to create, then you should have a plan for their exit. And you shouldn't tell them that you are still working on it. Hahaha. The other thing that you should consider is that perhaps nobody is going to want to take on the supposedly new exciting opportunities available. Because no matter how much you try to roll a turd in sugar, it's still a turd.

I have been so resigned and detached at work. But this has brought me new joy. Seeing them send out an email extending the application deadline because "they don't want anyone to miss out on an exciting opportunity" makes me laugh out loud. Makes me want to see what kind of messes they get to apply. Makes me giggle in wicked joy.

Suddenly, being at work is not so bad. Later.  ¶ 11:01 PM 0 comments